15 Mar 2014 |  for trainees | by Bill, writer at UK & Ireland Counsellor Directory

Feedback helps us to become more aware of what we do and how we do it.

If you are asked for feedback on another's interpersonal skills or behaviour, it helps to:

  • Focus on the person's behaviour, not the person directly.
  • Focus on something that the person can do something about.
  • Give your observations – what you saw or heard, not what you think about it.
  • Be specific –“you made good eye contact” not “you did that well”.
  • Own what you are saying – “I noticed … and I wondered if …”
  • Pace it, don’t race it.
  • Be respectful.
  • Sandwich issues for improvement between more positive comments.
  • Make sure they hear the positive, as well as what could be more challenging feedback.
  • Consider the feedback value – is the feedback for them or are you stage managing what you say to make sure you appear "nice".
  • Be honest – there is always something we could change or improve.
  • Accept that they may reject your feedback - they are entitled to.
Remember, feedback, sincerely given, is a gift so don't trash it. Receive it with gratitude, even if you don't like it.

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